Touhou Suiseisechi -- Inebriated Fairy Erotica
by Razzi Zadhna
Summary: Yukari and Byakuren discuss Gensokyo under interesting weather, Meiling and Reisen commiserate about workplace harassment, and Tenshi attempts to evict Suika from Heaven. An anthology of comedic Touhou short stories, each chapter dishing out three different skits. Expect the Rule of Funny to always supersede everything else, and NEVER take anything seriously.
1. Divine Record of Flame

**Inebriated Fairy Erotica**

Don't worry mods, there's no actual porn. Probably.

**Episode 1: Pilot**

_In this episode:_

_Yukari and Byakuren have a leisurely stroll..._

_Meiling and Reisen commiserate about workplace harassment..._

_And Tenshi attempts to evict a freeloader!_

**An Everyday Stroll**

Byakuren Hijiri and Yukari Yakumo were enjoying a peaceful stroll together around wherever-the-fuck-Yukari-lives in the rain.

Well, it wasn't really in the rain, as they were both dodging every single drop so as to keep themselves dry, and the rain also happened to be on fire thanks to Yukari-gap-shenanigans, but that's just being a pendant.

"It's interesting that you invited me, of all people, Yakumo_._" Byakuren calmly mentioned, casually dodging yet another torrent of flaming rain. "Especially with this interesting environment you've chosen for us."

"I may or may not be testing your abilities for something later. Besides, this should be nothing for a danmaku user.". Yukari replied, also casually dodging the burning danmaku from above. Her parasol was not so lucky however, currently being incinerated, though she didn't pay much heed to it. "How is your temple faring?"

"Fine," Byakuren replied nonchalatantly while making sure her ample assets were not lit on fire. "But why do you ask? Are you planning to use my disciples for some kind of plan?" She smirked. "It's always plans with you, Yakumo, or so I hear."

"That's a highly unfair representation." Yukari replied, while simultaneously plotting 700 different ways of making use of the Myouren Temple. She waved a hand out, forcing a small violet gap to materialize. It dropped a small cup of tea, a little splashing out as Yukari caught it, only to realize that was a Bad Idea when it immediately burst into raging flames. She glanced at it with disappointment, the kind a parent gives to a child who just did something rather dumb, and _both_ know it's incredibly stupid, so the two give each other a yup-that-happened-glance.

Angling her head towards the inevitable torrent of fiery danmaku from heaven, Byakuren frowned. "Reputations start for a reason. By the way, can we move somewhere else? I'm getting tired of dodging rain."

"No. Regardless, I called you here because I feel something...quite bizarre is to happen in Gensokyo. I'm keeping an eye on every single instigator possible." The cup itself was on fire by now. Yukari still paid no heed to it despite the flames now engulfing her hand. Her hand simply was dodging the flame itself.

"Hm...Yakumo Yukari herself, putting in the effort to spy on everyone? This must be _quite _the incident."

A desire to throw the burning parasol at Byakuren swelled up inside Yukari. She then promptly did such, and gapped out of the area while making sure to catch Byakuren's reaction as a flaming umbrella suddenly slammed her in the face.

She promptly appeared in her household, witnessing her shikigami, Ran, patiently waiting for her master, her nine tails sprawled out behind her. When she saw Yukari emerge through the violet gap, she quickly rushed up and greeted here. "Ah, I'm glad you're back. What did you do with Hijiri?"

Yukari brusquely pushed her aside, her face sullen, and droned "I lit her on fire."

"Yes...wh-what!?"

Ran got no answer, however, as Yukari proceeded to yukari harder than she ever did by falling on the floor face-first with a loud thud, and falling asleep.

Her hand was still on fire.

/

**Workplace Harassment**

Workplace harassment was something Hong Meiling took for granted. Granted, it was never abject torture like people said, but she and her argent-haired superior, Sakuya Izayoi, definitely stood to get on better terms. Sakuya's maniacal dedication towards her service to her master always mystified Meiling; why did guarding the SDM matter so much? No one ever came there anyway. Why would they, given that half the living beings in it who weren't fairies could kill a human in a heartbeat? Guarding the mansion was pointless.

It did have good pay though.

Regardless, Meiling was sleeping yet again against the scarlet walls of the Scarlet Devil Mansion. Not a single person or youkai could be seen. "Yawn..." She stretched and relaxed her shoulders.

However, there _was_ someone coming up the gates: Reisen Udongein Inaba, a name which the author hopes he may never have to write again. She popped out from the forest with a small box in her hand. Looking around nervously, she hastily ran up to Meiling. "Um, excuse me-"

At the sound of her voice, Meiling yawned and opened one eye. "Uhhhh...what do you want here? Who are you?" She replied groggily.

"I'm Reisen Inaba. I'm here from Eientei...my master, Yagokoro, has a few medicines she wants to give to Miss Knowledge here." Reisen pointed towards the box, latched shut.

"Ah...another person trying to buy their way into the library here, huh?" Meiling let loose a mocking laugh. "Hah! I've been here long enough to know that wont work." She closed her eyes again. "Don't even bother. Just go back to Yagokoro and tell her that Patchouli can't be bought."

"What?" Reisen angrily placed her hands on her hips and pouted. "Really? Eirin sent me on _another _useless errand for her?" Sighing, she shook her head dejectedly. "I can't go back to her, she'll kill me."

"Ah," Meiling wryly smirked. "you've got one of _those_ masters, huh? Trust me, I know how it feels."

"Ah...you do, really?"

"Yup. I nominally work for Remilia Scarlet, but that maid, Sakuya Izayoi's my real superior. And trust me, she thinks that the entire mansion'll get destroyed if I'm not guarding it every single second."

"Wow..." Reisen's face beamed. "Finally, someone who actually _knows_ how it's like! You should see Eirin, I swear..." Reisen's fists shuddered and clenched into a ball, and her face became distorted with pent-up rage. "She makes me do practically everything involving the moon rabbits, she makes me do all her dirty work...sure, Tewi's supposed to do that, but she can't do anything reliably so _I_ get all the work! I swear I have it in me to complain about it-"

Right as she finished speaking, a knife appeared from precisely nowhere and pierced into Reisen's chest from precisely nowhere with a _schwing! _"OH GODS WHAT-" Reisen fell to the ground instantly clutching the now profusely-bleeding wound in her chest with a terrified expression on her face.

Sakuya then sakuya'd next to Meiling with a flash and observed her latest target. "Ugh, Meiling! You're supposed to guard against intruders, not chat with them!" She bonked her inferior—who was now looking between both other girls in horror—on the head with a knife.

"Sa-Sakuya! What the hell, she wasn't an intruder, she was coming for business!"

"SOMEONE HELP ME PLEASE"

"Was she?" Sakuya looked down at Reisen sprawled on the ground. "Oh, it's the bunny I defeated a while back at Eientei."

"You _know_ her?! Then why did you stab her!?"

"I AM _BLEEDING_ PROFUSELY"

Sakuya rolled her eyes. "Yes, yes, I know, I'm struggling to care. I wonder what rabbit tastes like..."

"Why didn't you use spell card rules?!" Meiling dove down and quickly grabbed Reisen, grasping the blade and quickly pulling it out. "There-" She stopped when Sakuya proceeded to knife _her_ as well, a knife flying from nowhere in particular and stabbing her in the head. "Sa-Sakuya, what..." She fell to the ground with a thud by Reisen.

"Collusion with trespassers is not allowed."

She then quietly left, leaving the two over-stressed workers to fully commiserate about their workplace harassment. And probably die.

**Get Off My Goddamn Lawn**

Heaven.

A wondrous place far above the clouds, open only to celestials and other such amazing creatures. True to their divine wondrance, they spent most of their time being drunker than alcoholics and wasting away the time.

Unfortunately, there was an oni there that was also wasting away the time. Which was bad, because being a perpetually inebriated waste of resources was only okay if one was a Celestial.

Regardless, said oni, Suika Ibuki, a petite yet fiercely strong girl with hair the color of sunsets, was a nuisance. Sure, she had technically been allowed a piece of land due to beating a celestial. But it still wasn't right.

She was lazing away at the sheer edge of a cliff in Heaven, the rest of Gensokyo peeking through the faint clouds that encircled Heaven. She was gulping down sake from her violet gourd, the chains connected to her body rattling. Behind her stood another girl: Tenshi Hinanawi; the very girl Suika had defeated. She was brandishing a solid orange sword. Her face was scrunched up in annoyance. "Hm. I can't believe you're _still_ here."

Suika stopped drinking and replied without even turning to her. "Ah, it's the little celestial girl I beat. I did best you fair and square, so why are you contesting this now?" She nonchalantly returned to drinking.

Tenshi gripped her sword tight, her hands trembling. "Ugh...damn Oni. You think I'm some kind of pushover, don't you?"

"That didn't really answer my question~"

"A celestial doesn't care for the questions of a dumb oni like you. Can you please leave?" Tenshi swung her sword out and took a fighting pose.

"Oh come on. What have I done that deserves getting evicted?" Suika finally decided to get up and face Tenshi...though she was still drinking from her gourd, though she soon put it away. "You better make this quick. I'll have to get double drunk after this, with this dry spell you're putting me through."

Tenshi smirked. "You've been nothing but a lazy freeloader. Heaven is for celestials. All you've done is drink and...yeah that's _about_ it."

"So? You guys are lazy and do nothing too?"

"Yeah, but it's only okay when _we_ do it. Not you, oni." Tenshi crossed her arms in annoyance, setting the sword into the rocky ground below dotted with white flowers. "Why can't you live with that miko...Raimu...what was her name again...?"

Suika shrugged with a dumb smile. "Reimu? But she's eternally poor, and her shrine pales compared to this amazing place!"

/

Right then, at the Hakurei Shrine, Reimu sneezed. "Achoo! Oh my...Marisa, someone's talking about me!" She exclaimed right after. "I bet some damn youkai's plotting to kill me, can't ever trust them..."

Marisa simply rolled her eyes and adjusted her oversized witch's hat. "Sigh...no, Reimu. You _sneezed_. That doesn't mean someone's talking about you, ze. It just means you sneezed...ze."

Reimu slammed her fist down on the table separating them, shaking the teacups on it. "No, that can't be. This is Gensokyo. And why should I trust your opinion, all you do is get high on mushrooms."

"THEY'RE FOR RESEARCH, DAMMIT!"

/

Meanwhile, Tenshi and Suika were still at odds.

"Argh..." Tenshi would not take her off of Suika, who was merely drinking nonchalantly. "What will it take to get you off-"

"Huh...what is this place...hey, aren't you...?"

Tenshi swiveled around to see two girls walking towards her. They were...a moon rabbit and some kind of youkai? "You...you're the rabbit...why are _you_ here?"

Suika shrugged behind her with a look of annoyance. "Boy, I came out here for simple sightseeing and all this happens..."

The moon rabbit frowned. "Hmph. You're the girl who was a pain in the ass with the earthquakes... and it's Reisen, not 'the rabbit'." She looked around at the rocky terrian stretching forever, with flowers dotting the landscape. "Hm...is this Heaven? I guess Eirin was wrong, youkai really do go to Heaven when they die, Meiling!"

"What!?" Tenshi quickly grabbed her sword and thrusted it towards Reisen. "First of all, I'm Tenshi Hinanawi, not 'that earthquake bitch'! And second, youkai don't go to Heaven when they die, that's what those crazy people who worship that crucified man say! Why are you here?"

Meiling scratched her head in confusion. "Uh...she didn't say 'earthquake bitch', in the first place..."

"She said what exactly amounted to 'earthquake bitch'!"

Reisen rolled her eyes. "Oh can it, I don't have time for your persecution complex. Sigh, everyone in Gensokyo has issues...and second, we just died and ended up here. Don't shoot us just yet."

"That's impossible." Tenshi smugly slammed her sword into the ground with a metallic "schwing!" again and leaned against it. "Admission is only through Nirvana or a Yama's permission. Go back down to Gensokyo and earn your spots the hard way!"

"Didn't you just get here because your parents got in?"

There was an awkward silence for several seconds as Tenshi's face grew hotter than the sun.

During all of this, Suika took a final drink before facing Tenshi, cracking her knuckles. "I normally don't like to solve situations like this, but..." Walking towards Tenshi, she grabbed the back of her dress and yanked hard.

The yank sent Tenshi stumbling, but she regained her balance and turned to her assailant. "Go away, I have bigger problems right now-" Her words were cut off as Suika reeled back, sending the unwilling Tenshi with her, and immediately hurled a now-screaming Tenshi into the air with immense strength. Tenshi soared through the air, so fast indeed that all she could do while Suika approached the gabberflasted Reisen and Meling was loudly scream as she was sent flying through the air, disappearing as a star with a twinkle.

"Ah, sometimes you don't need bullets to solve a problem." She offered out some sake to Reisen and Meiling. "Care for a drink? I'm certain any stories you two have will be far more interesting than hers."

Reisen and Meiling gave each other an uncertain look, but shrugged and took it anyway, quickly gulping it down.

/

_Meanwhile, in the SDM..._

"Mistress Remilia, I think I may have been too harsh with Meiling a few hours ago..."

"That's odd, coming from you, Sakuya." Remilia Scarlet took a small sip of the tea Sakuya had prepared her. The rich aroma and frangance reminded her of her homeland in Europe. Combined with sitting outside on the Scarlet Devil Mansion's porch, overlooking the Misty Lake, it was a nice blend of east and west.

"Well, she hasn't reported to me ever since-"

"_AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"_

Both Sakuya and Remilia gave each other a look of pure confusion. "What in Vlad Tepes' name was _that_?"

Sakuya immediately steeled herself and returned to normal, pouring some more tea. "Certainly nothing, mistress." She looked out to the sky and saw a small blue blur flying through the sky. She then remarked, with increasing alarm, "Hm, that is an odd object I can't say I've seen before and...oh dear, it's getting bigger and I think it's about to hit-"

Boom.

Remilia had dealt with damage to the SDM before, but none was as unique as damage incurred by literal Celestial bombardment from the Heavens.


	2. Incoherent Blast Festival

東方醉精媟  
><strong>Touhou Suiseisechi (Drunk Spirit Lust)<br>Inebriated Fairy Erotica**

**Episode 2:  
><strong>謅軣怡  
><strong>Shoukoui (Nonsensical Explosion Rejoicing)<br>Incoherent Blast Festival**

_On this episode of Inebriated Fairy Erotica:_

_Nitori stupidly builds a rocket launcher..._

_Reisen has a business meeting with her employer..._

_And Meiling and Sakuya swap places for a day!_

By the way, this fanfic _does_ have continuity if you're wondering. Loose continuity, but former events are mentioned.

Also this will be the last time Reisen or Meiling are mentioned in a long while, so don't worry, they're not taking over the fic. However, you might see these weird sort of "arcs" where a few characters show up in a lot of the stories for like two chapters.

Second, notice the name change? It's now _Touhou Suiseisechi – Inebriated Fairy Erotica_. See, when ZUN names a Touhou title, he gives it a name with five kanji: the first two mean "Touhou", and the last three give the title (read with the Chinese readings for the kanji). Then he gives it an English title as well, which is not related to the Japanese one; for instance Perfect Cherry Blossom's Japanese title is _Touhou Youyoumu_, roughly "Bewitching Eastern Dream". I'm doing that for this title—indeed, I'm doing it for _every chapter_. So that's that.

By the way, there's a pun with the title: It can also be read as _Touhou Youseisechi_, or "Fairy Lust". Yeah.

**Explosives with Nitori**

Nitori Kawashiro and Marisa Kirisame knew each other on the side. Nitori normally didn't make ventures to Marisa's house itself, so the latter knew it had to be a special occasion.

Nitori entered Marisa's impossibly-messy home hoisting a large cylinder made of metal. She clearly had some trouble lifting it, and struggled without a word to a nearby table, slamming it on with a loud clang. She was panting afterward.

Marisa eyed the cylinder with awe. "Uh, Nitori, nice of you to drop by—I got Alice coming over soon but I can accommodate you—but...what is that thing?"

Nitori's eyes immediately gleamed with a mischievous smile. "Heh...it's my latest invention. I've reverse-engineered it from outside world materials." She patted the cylinder several times, making a dull metallic sound. "It's called a 'rocket launcher'. It turns out that the humans out there have made their own form of danmaku, or at least that's what I'm guessing."

"Danmaku without magic?" Marisa rubbed her chin incredulously, furrowing her eyes.

"Oh, it's crude, but I thought it fun anyway. It fires a rocket which then explodes in impact. Just one, though..." Nitori reached into the stuffed backpack she was carrying and pulled out a rocket. "You just put it in the front—" She placed the rocket down and hoisted the launcher, pointing to a trigger on the bottom. "-and you just hit the trigger. Here, you try hoisting it."

Marisa took the launcher into her hands—it was incredibly heavy, the weight making her legs buckle slightly. "Jeez, Nitori..." She eventually gripped it moderately well with two hands. "So you just pull the trigger, huh?"

"Actually, I wouldn't suggest that-"

Marisa pulled the trigger.

A piercing "SHWOOSH" sound mixed with the roar of burning flame erupted and a massive plume of smoke blew out the back right in Nitori's face. "Wha-what was that?"

Nitori could barely speak through coughing. "Y-you just fired the one already in it!"

"_It was already loaded!?_" Marisa looked out her window to see the rocket soaring through the air, emitting a steady trail of smoke and fire. It had shot perfectly through her open door. "What the hell, Nitori!" She exclaimed, running outside to keep her eye on it.

Nitori ran through the smoke after her. "Maybe you shouldn't have just randomly pulled the trigger then, idiot!" She exclaimed, keeping her eye on the rocket as well.

"Maybe you shouldn't give me a _loaded rocket_, then!"

"Why is it _my_ fault that you hit the trigger?!"

"Tch..." Marisa then noticed that the rocket was making a very large curve back towards them. "Um, where is it going?" She asked, taking an uneasy step back.

"Oh yeah. It's programmed to hit the nearest and hottest heat source. That would happen to be us by the way." Nitori replied with a completely deadpan tone.

"It's—oh man-" Marisa held up her hand and quickly shot out a green puffball danmaku towards the rocket.

Right as she did this, Nitori added "Oh, and I had someone else put an anti-danmaku barrier on it..." The puffball proceeded to explode harmlessly against the advancing rocket.

"Well then what-"

"Just dodge it!" Nitori quickly rolled out of the rocket's path while a clawed arm erupted from her backpack, grabbing Marisa and flinging her to the side. She then had a lovely discussion with a nearby tree, knocking her hat off.

She rubbed her throbbing head in pain soon after falling to the ground. "Dammit, Nitori, your dumbass backpack threw me into a tree!"

"Well you clearly didn't want to dodge." Nitori quipped, rising from the ground and dusting herself off. "By the way, that rocket is still live."

Having missed the two girls, the rocket made another sharp veer into the sky, where it rose, until it randomly decided to veer off into the forest. "Huh, that doesn't normally happen..." Both Nitori and Marisa watched it disappear into the leaves with quizzical looks, as it failed to lock onto them again. "Well, not my problem." Nitori went over to Marisa and helped her up. "Sorry about that-"

"What in the—HEY-" A loud explosion ripped through the forest, the shock wave visibly shooting across the leaves and dirt it kicked up and sent flying. The blast knocked both girls off their feet once more.

Marisa groaned from her throbbing head and arose again. "Shit...that sounded like Alice's voice!" She bolted in the rocket's direction, disappearing between the trees, but not before turning around and yelling "If that rocket hit her I'm gonna mess you up _real_ bad, got it?"

Nitori lifted herself off the ground as well, her head similarly throbbing. Rubbing it and wincing, she sighed deeply. "Well, looks like that one needs some time in the shop..." She eyed towards the sky to see the sun's position. "Hm...might as well go back. I wonder what's in Aya's newspaper today...?" With that, she quickly ran back over to Marisa's house to retrieve the other rocket. The house was slightly perturbed by the rocket's blast, but truthfully it was already so messy that it barely changed at all. She quickly pocketed the spare rocket. On the side was a small reminder that it did _not_ have an anti-danmaku barrier on it. "I guess it's time to leave".

Before she could step outside, though, Marisa came back from the forest, hoisting up a rather soot-covered and burn-marked Alice Margatroid. Alice wasn't particularly feeling it, however, as she pushed Marisa off and attempted to stand on her own two feet. "Augh...jeez, Marisa, I can walk by myself..."

Marisa let out a small "tch..." and looked towards Nitori in the house. "HEY, NITORI! Look at what you've done to Alice, dammit! She may be an annoying sardonic twit at times, and spends far too much time with her dolls-"

"_Thank _you, Marisa" Alice sighed and commented rather...well, sardonically whilst shaking her head and rolling her eyes.

"-But hey, we're still friends! How about I danmaku you in return, huh?" Marisa prepared another green puffball in her arm, the bullet glowing lighting up her face.

Nitori immediately put her hands up, still holding the rocket. "W-wait, Marisa...there's better ways to handle this, especially when I have this rocket-"

"Psh, who cares? It's gotta have another one of your dumb 'anti-danmaku barriers', huh? Whatever." With a flick of her hand Marisa chucked the puffball, which bolted straight at Nitori.

The results were...expected.

/

_At the Hakurei Shrine_...

Reimu was enjoying a hot cup of tea alone, kneeling inside her shrine. Cupping it with one hand, she lightly blew on it before imbibing, the liquid warming up her throat and settling in her stomach like a fire. "Nothing like that to start the day..."

A massive explosion then roared through the air with such force her tea saucer trembled, clacking against the floor, and the entire shrine shuddered hard enough to make her drop her cup. The hot tea splattered all over her dress, the tea scalding her legs and lower body with intense burning pain. "OW, DAMMIT!" Jumping like she had been shocked, Reimu inspected the damage, wincing from the pain on her legs. When she lightly touched the spot, pain shot through her leg like a lightning bolt, making her quickly retreat her hand.

"Dammit...did Marisa blow up some shit _again_?" Her mood soured, she dashed outside, ignoring the raw pain, looking in the direction of Marisa's house. Predictably, there was a raging fire blazing up in the air, the acrid smell of burning wood reaching all the way to her nose. "Oh boy, Marisa, what will I do with you..."

Her troubles were not done yet, as a disembodied voice appeared _ex nihilo_. "Ah, what's the matter, Reimu?" There was no mistaking _that_: it was Yukari. "Are youkai so scawy that you wet yourself?" Her voice was high-pitched like she was talking to a toddler.

"What, Yukari!? Dammit, I don't need your bullshit right now." Reimu looked every which way, but Yukari or her trademark gaps were nowhere to be seen. "I spilled tea on my dress, jeez! Why the hell are you even watching me right now..."

A violet gap filled with disembodied eyes materialized in front of her, Yukari then lazily leaned out of it, her face disgustingly smug with a smirk that begged for a punch. "'Spilled tea on myself'? Please, Reimu. A cute youkai boy I once met told me that, but no one falls for it twice."

"Get out of my way before I _make_ you, Yukari. I need to go check up on Marisa." Reimu assumed a fighting stance, producing three _ofuda_ from nowhere and readying them between her fingers.

"There's no need to walk, Reimu, just look up."

Reimu, confused, did such.

She was greeted with Marisa and Alice's wide-eyed faces in shock falling straight towards her. "Oh my-" She couldn't get the words out before they slammed into her with such force all three of them blasted backwards towards the shrine, snapping its frontwards wooden wall with a loud "KEE-RACK!" before skidding to a slow, slow stop, stopping _just_ before Reimu's tea saucer. All three girls were unconscious.

Yukari laughed that annoying noblewoman's laugh of "oh-ho-ho-ho!", raising her hand to her mouth and snickering. "Ah, sometimes, you have to stay up for some things-"

Having not looked upwards herself, she failed remember that three people had been in the explosion. Her smug victory ended abruptly as Nitori conked her on the head so hard Yukari was ejected from her own gap and slammed into the brick pathway of the shrine, leaving a dented crack.

All five girls were unconscious.

Marisa's house was still burning.

**Business Relations**

The next day, the Human Village received two especially odd visitors: Reisen U. Inaba and Hong Meiling. The two clearly were recovering from some bad hangovers, both of them looking frazzled and gripping their heads in pain.

"Oof, never try to outdrink an oni..." Meiling lamented as they walked down the smoothed road towards the village. The voices of humans and the bustle of village life were starting to become audible.

"Yeah..." Reisen winced at her headache, gripping her head to stave the pain. "On the other hand, she did invite us back, so that's nice."

"Too bad we can't stay up there forever." Meiling managed to endure the pain and bowed deeply to Reisen. "It's actually been pretty nice meeting you, maybe if we ever get some time we could hang out..."

"Yeah..." Reisen smiled awkwardly and bowed in return. "I'd like that, perhaps, but Eirin is strict...regardless, bye."

"See you." Meiling began wending her way down a fork in the road towards the SDM. Reisen, however, continued walking. It was only a few minutes before she saw an unfamiliar girl hawking newspapers, energetically waving around the rolled-up papers and shouting "Extra extra! The latest issue of the _Bunbunmaru_, right here!" Perhaps "hawking" was almost too literal: she had blue and white hair with red wings.

"Some kind of bird youkai...?" Reisen asked herself as she walked over to her. "What're you doing here, youkai?"

"Oh, hi!" The girl boisterously greeted Reisen, waving wildly. "I'm Tokiko. I love books, so I live near Kourindou! But I've just gotten a job selling newspapers since the owner, Mister Morichika, charges a ton of money...but it's fun!"

"What human would buy a newspaper from a youkai?" Reisen shrugged. "Hm, might as well. Hand me one of those." Tokiko handed Reisen a copy of the _Bunbunmaru. _Reisen absent-mindedly leafed through it. "Hm...'Kirisame's House Burns Once More', well, that's not surprising...'Underground Geyser Center's Could Be Nearing Meltdown'...Eirin wanted to go there eventually...'Possible Lesbian Orgy at Hakurei Shrine', hm...wait, what the _fuck_?" Reisen turned back a page and began reading, "Hakurei, Kirisame, Yakumo, Kawashiro, and Margatroid found lying unconscious at Hakurei Shrine, seemingly after several hours of passion during the night...wow, Aya." Reisen stopped reading incredulously shook her head. "That's...that's a new low for you." She handed Tokiko the paper back.

"So, ya' gonna buy it or not?" Tokiko's eyes were wide-open.

"Nah, I don't think so."

"What if I break your legs?"

"What the hell? Then I'm _especially_ not gonna buy it!"

"Aw..." Tokiko dejectedly slumped over with a frown. "I haven't sold one newspaper...

Reisen sighed, shaking her head once more. "Get something more reliable and you might make it. But..." She reached into a pocket and pulled out a small amount of yen and thrust it into Tokiko's palm. "Unlike most of the crazy women here, I'll be nice for once."

/

_Right outside of Eientei..._

"Ugh, where is she...?" Tewi Inaba scoped out the bamboo forests surrounding the massive mansion of Eientei, but she simply could not find her superior (though her authority was rather useless against Tewi...), Reisen. Shrugging, she lifted her foot to rub her soles in pain from walking so much. "Oof, even a rabbit like me should get some shoes...I'll steal some of Reisen's, heh." She ended with a mischievous smirk and turned around to go back to Eientei.

"Hello, Tei."

"Huh?" Tewi swung around to see Reisen, looking rather sullen. "Wow, you're finally back huh?" She still had her smirk on. "Heh, you know that Eirin's gonna be pissed since you deserted. You've been gone for several days for a half-day trip? That's so unlike you, Reisen!"

"Yeah, well I _died_."

"Of course you—what?!"

Reisen walked around Tewi and replied without facing her. "It's a long story, and I _really_ don't have time for your nonsense right now."

**/**

Eirin Yagokoro was a stern woman. Most of the time she whiled away the time in her corner of Eientei, where her office and apothecary laid. It was a rather anachronistic sight; traditional Japanese style with sliding doors, circular windows, and _tatami _flooring contrasted with vials upon vials of mysterious medicines, paper scrawled with medical formulae, and stark white medical beds.

At the moment she was completely focused on a new formula. Hunched over a piece of paper, her one massive bluish-gray braid lazily lying on her shoulder, she was silently scrawling down complex equations and computing them in her head. There was no sound, except for her pen and her foot tapping rhythmically. "Hm...I wonder if a male enhancement drug will sell here; what _is_ the average size of a Gensokyo man's pen-"

Her thoughts were interrupted by Reisen sliding open the door to her apothecary, with a familiar sound. Reisen walked inside and closed it again, her expression somber. "I'm back."

Eirin didn't turn to face her. Instead, she stopped writing and laid her pen down. In a voice like that of a parent scolding a child, she asked "Reisen, where were you? It's been four days, 5 hours, 33 minutes, and 12 seconds since you left."

Reisen _wanted_ to say "You sent me on _another _mission doomed to failure from the start and then I _died_", but instead she held her tongue and replied "I died."

"What?" That was enough to make Eirin swivel and face her with rapt eyes.

"Patchouli can't be bought, the guard at the SDM told me so, then I got stabbed by the maid and died, then I went to Heaven, which is honestly a _much_ better place than here, given that you get to be a perpetually inebriated waste of resources all day long, then I had to go so I left and walked _all the way back_ here." Reisen blurted that all out so fast it would have made any normal person's head spin.

Eirin didn't say anything for a few seconds. When she finally replied, it was with an incredulous face. "Do you really expect me to believe that?"

"You can believe what you wish, Mistress Yagokoro, but it's the truth."

Eirin rubber her chin and eyed her with furrowed eyebrows. "Well, that story is honestly so ridiculous that I _can't_ but believe it. You're off the hook...for now." She then returned to her work, scrawling on the paper once more.

Sighing in relief, Reisen walked over to a nearby medical bed and collapsed onto it. "Well that's a relief"

"Reisen, I've been meaning to ask you: what do you think is the average size of a Gensokyo male's phallus?"

"How the hell would I know that!? Why do you _want_ to know that!?"

"Well, selling drugs is a main profit source of mine, so I thought that I could tap into a previously unexploited market, ever since I read those magazines Morichika had..."

"Mistress...mistress please make _normal_ things, for once. Weren't you going to teach me how to become a doctor anyway?"

"Yes, I did..." Eirin thought back to when she and Reisen first met, soon after the latter had escaped the moon and fled to Gensokyo. Reisen was officially her student, though Eirin's lessons were erratic and often cancelled whenever she found it worthwhile to develop some ridiculous new drug. "If you'd like, I'll give you anatomy lessons starting next week. Pharmaceuticals might be a little much for you at first."

"That sounds fine. Man, why can't we be like this more often..."

"Hm...maybe I should make a drug that repels youkai but also causes erectile dysfunction, then I'll hawk a male enhancement drug..."

"Mistress, you're doing it _again_..."

**Meiling and Sakuya Swap Places, AKA "In Which I Get Lazy and Use This Tired Old Sitcom Plot Because It Just Works, Dammit"**

"I'm telling you, I died. _You_ killed me!"

"Meiling, that is complete nonsense."

Meiling slammed her hand down on the railing of the SDM's courtyard balcony. Sakuya ignored it and continued to pour tea with impeccable posture for her mistress, Remilia, stopping just before the cup overflowed.

Remilia watched the two smugly as she took a sip of warm tea. "Hmm...Sakuya, you were worried for a few days there. I saw you fretting about and neglecting your duties."

Sakuya trembled ever so slightly. Closing her eyes and taking in a deep but barely audible breath, she placed her tea kettle down with abnormally stiff motion. "Mistress, I...I was not worried about this lazy buffoon in the slightest." Her articulation was awkwardly stiff.

Remilia took another sip, leaning forward and observing the two through the steam. "Hm, you say that, but," Her eyes narrowed like a tiger about to pounce. "You forgot to clean a few rooms yesterday, even though you should have all the time in the world." She said that with the assured and exact diction of a detective who just cornered her suspect.

"Tch!" Sakuya bit down on her lip, her hands trembling. "Mistress, th-those rooms were clean..."

"Heh." Meiling chuckled, leaning on the balcony. "You may pick at me all the time, but we're still co-workers, aren't we?"

"You be quiet...Mistress, how can you possibly take the side of _her_ and her...ridiculous rubbish story and not me?"

Remilia remained as calm as ever. "Now, now, Sakuya. Meiling may be somewhat iffy as a guard, but she doesn't lie. That and I _did_ see you stab her."

Meiling switched from happy to annoyed in an instant, crossing her arms and rolling her eyes. "'Somewhat iffy as a guard'? Ugh, you guys act like it's anything but incredibly boring. No one's gonna try to trespass into a place with you, Sakuya, _and_ Patchouli."

Sakuya, sensing a chance to gain the upper hand went in for an offensive. "Yet I distinctly remember a shrine maiden and magical girl breaking in...it's not 'boring', you're just lazy."

"That was like _three goddamn years _ago, Sakuya! It's not my fault that everyone who _does_ trespass here is way too strong for me to handle! All you have to do is walk around and clean stuff..."

Remilia slammed her fist on the table like a judge's gavel. "All right, that's _enough_." Both girls immediately stopped and bowed to her with apologies. "If your jobs are both so easy..." She crossed her hands and laid her chin on them. "Then how about you switch for a day?"

Both girls glared at each other for a split second before nodding.

"Hm, I'll be a better gatekeeper than her seven days of the week."

"C'mon, cleaning can't be _that_ hard..."

/

The next day, visitors got a peculiar sight at the front gate of the Scarlet Devil Mansion: Sakuya, instead of Meiling, was guarding the front gate.

She had no changed her attire at all. A small wind lightly ruffled her maid dress as she surveyed the area. She found no one. Not a single soul was coming that way. "...I bet someone will come, anyway."

/

_Inside the SDM..._

The fairies of the mansion were lazing around in the expansive main hall, which was lined with paintings of Remilia's supposed "ancestors". All of them were in maid outfits much like Sakuya's. The incessant buzzing of their wings resounded through the air, and they slowly drifted around, not really quite sure what to do. They knew that a Meiling was to be chief maid that day, but she was nowhere to be seen.

"Chief isn't here..."

"I bet she's sleeping!"

"Who cares, we'll just laze around all day!"

"I'm gonna go kill myself!"

Then they heard someone walking down the hall. Meiling came out from a door, her eyes closed and her mouth lazily open like she was sleepwalking. "Ooooh geez, I slept too late..." She was wearing a maid outfit as well (supposedly one of Sakuya's), which certainly gave the fairies pause. "Huh...oh yeah, you guys..." She groggily looked up to them with one eye open. "Yaaaaaawn...so, yeah, you're supposed to do most of the work around here, right? Go ahead...I guess."

The fairies looked at each other and shrugged and then flew off, their wings buzzing together. Of course, they weren't flying off to _work_, but Meiling didn't know that.

/

_At the gate of the SDM..._

It had been two hours since Sakuya first started gatekeeping.

Not a single soul had shown up.

At this point, her eye was starting to twitch from sheer incredulity. "You have _got_ to be kidding me...I've been here...for two hours...and I've done...nothing..." Her hands were beginning to twitch as well. Her thoughts turned to her normal job as the chief maid. In that, she was _always_ working. There was always some room to clean, some fairies to scold, two mistresses to tend to. Now, the sheer _lack_ of work was driving her crazy. _How can someone work like this?!_, she thought. _There's no structure, no...anything!_

The sun was beginning to drive her mad too. Its rays had been beating down on her for two hours, the heat uncomfortably pressing into her skin. Her body was starting to glisten with sweat, and her dress was beginning to stick uncomfortably to her skin.

"Ugh..."

/

_Inside the SDM..._

Meiling had fallen asleep _again_, and was blissfully unaware of the fact that the fairy maids were completely incompetent at their jobs.

A few were simply lying around, others were fluttering about the hallways, chatting about inane things with each other. A few others were _attempting_ to clean, though they were merely making a bigger mess than usual. Without any co-ordination, they were getting in each other's way more often than actually cleaning, as one fairy would sweep up some dust and another would accidentally sweep her broom through it and make an even bigger mess of things.

Meiling finally awoke, her eyes slowly opening. Shielding her face, she rose up and saw the chaos unfolding before her eyes. "Eh...wait, what are you idiots doing?"

Some fairies close to her stopped and shrugged. "We're working."

"If this is 'working' then Mistress Flandre is a well-adjusted youkai!" Meiling rubbed her eyes in disbelief and tiredness. "How could Sakuya keep this place clean?" She said to herself.

A fairy with long black hair answered the rhetorical question with the smile of a saleswoman. "Well, she does nearly all of it herself."

"She...what?" Meiling eyed the fairy like a crazy person. "But..." Then it struck her. _Her time powers...no wonder she's so strict and uptight, she works all day... _"Oh man..."

/

_At the gate..._

It had been six hours.

Once again, not a single soul had shown up.

Sakuya's whole _body_ was twitching, her visage as twisted as a madman in an asylum. She was pulling out her knives and counting them, just so she had _something_ to do. There was no point. There was no point to any of this. Just monotony. Boredom.

"Four thousand five hundred and seventy three, four thousand five hundred and seventy four, four thousand five hundred and seventy five..." She looked so frazzled, a bizarre grin plastered on her face, bags under her eyes, and gleaming knives in her hands, that one would have wondered what nuthouse she had escaped from. And the heat. The _heat_. Her whole uniform was welded to her skin by now. She didn't really notice, too absorbed in her knife-counting, but her forehead and legs were shining at this point.

She suddenly stopped and grabbed the Luna Dial, her personal pocket watch from a pocket and nearly snapped it open, observing the time. "Six hours...truly?" Her finger was dancing over the small button which would stop time instantly when pressed, but she realized that it was pointless. Stopping time would make this take _longer_. For the first time in her life, she wanted time to run _faster_ than slower. She started to laugh. It wasn't from being amused or joy. It was the incomprehensible and stilted laugh of a person gone mad.

A figure appeared over the horizon, the heat hazing the ground. Sakuya didn't notice them, however. She continued to count her knives. As the figure approached, their features became visible. Long blond hair. A black dress with a faint pink apron. An octagonal wooden block in her hand. Marisa Kirisame. She was bereft of her witch's hat or broom, and was slumped over with a pained expression. "Ugh...dammit Nitori, why'd you have to burn it to the ground..." As she got closer, it was clear that her dress was torn and ragged, her body caked with black soot and dust, and forehead drenched in sweat. Sakuya paid no attention to her as she walked all the way up to the gate.

Marisa stopped dead when she saw Sakuya at the game, quickly rubbing her eyes and checking again. "Woah, that explosion must've screwed me up, 'cause I don't think _you're_ the guard here, maid."

Sakuya didn't respond, still counting. "Four thousand five hundred and ninety five..."

Marisa furrowed her brows and stepped a little closer. "Oi, maid! I don't really care who's the guard here, I'm going to see Patchy. My house burned down and I'm gonna crash in the library, got it? Don't try to stop me."

"Four thousand five hundred and ninety eight..."

"...Okay, I'm starting to get legit worried. Are you like...okay?"

"Five thousand—AAAAARRGGH!" Sakuya suddenly flipped out, her wild gesticulations sending her knives everywhere (Marisa had to immediately leap for safety as they flew past her in utterly random directions, commenting "good lord, danmaku's less dangerous that this!"). Falling on her knees, she started yelling incomprehensibly at the air "WHAT'S EVEN THE _POINT_ OF THIS!? YOU PUT MORE EFFORT IN SLEEPING! I'VE BEEN STANDING HERE DOING NOTHING! WHY IS THERE EVEN A GUARD IF NO ONE EVER COMES!?" The sheer volume was ripping her voice to hoarse shreds. Marisa with scared and wide eyes took a few steps back, never taking her eyes off the lunatic maid.

However, as soon as she finished, Sakuya looked forward with a blank expression before getting up and dusting herself off. She then turned to Marisa, her expression all of a sudden back to normal. "Oh, it's nothing more than you, magician. Why are your clothes like that? Did your lunatic and hazardous magic act up again?" It was as if that outburst had released all of her pent-up craziness and turned her back to normal.

Marisa didn't respond for a few seconds, only staring at the maid with wide eyes of horror, terror, and extreme worry. "I'm...I'm just gonna go inside, okay...?" Saying that, she immediately vaulted over the gate and quickly made a break down the flowerbeds of the courtyard towards the door.

Sakuya closed her eyes and sighed. "You're such a pest...wait, I was supposed to-" She immediately vaulted over the gate herself and landed in the courtyard and bolted after Marisa. "Trespassers are not allowed on the premises!"

Marisa got to the door, reveling in the shade. Hearing Sakuya behind her, though, cut her relief short as she hastily slammed the huge door, it creaking loudly, and ran in "Oh man, I don't need this!" _Gotta find Patch__y__'s library..._

"Why are you here? Come to steal some books again?" Sakuya asked as she dashed inside, taking time to quietly close the door like the maid she usually was. "I thought getting skewered by knives would deter you."

"As if! I don't stop for anyone." Marisa skidded to a stop and swung around, kicking up dust and smoke on the scarlet carpet, a confident smirk on her face The area they were in was absolutely ginormous, stretching for what seemed like miles. The hallway was nearly as wide as the Sanzu River, the ceiling stretching up to Heaven itself. Few windows lined the hall. The vastness made the two girls look like insects. "You think I'm going down _that_ easily?" Reaching behind her back, Marisa produced from thin air several thin spellcards, each lined with an exquisite pattern.

"My my, you truly must be denser than the earth's core. Even a dog learns to avoid a place when he's punished." Sakuya reached behind herself as well, her left hand disappearing from space. When she pulled it out, it had knives and spellcards between its fingers. In her right, she produced her pocket watch. Holding the knives and cards to her mouth, spread out like a Japanese fan, she eyed Marisa. "Didn't your father teach you anything?"

"Oi, you tryin' to start some shit?" Marisa rose into the air, and brandished her Mini-Hakkero, pointing it straight at Sakuya. A massive magic circle, covered in complex geometric patterns. "Well, let me tell you what I do to people who start shit: I _spark_ 'em!"

A small vortex of flame swirled in front of the Hakkero, getting bigger as the vortex swirled and fed it more and more energy. An unfathomably huge laser, as hot as the sun and nearly as wide as the entire hallway, exploded out of it with a deafening boom which made the house itself shudder. The sound of the laser roaring through the air was ear-splittingly loud. It crashed into the ground, making the house shudder again, though it left the area perfectly pristine. When it finally fizzled out and died down, the latent magic in the air was enough to physically press on her skin, wisps of spirit floating through the air.

"That ought'a—huh?" Marisa cut herself short when she saw that Sakuya wasn't even _in_ the area the spark had hit. She was completely gone. "How-" The reason dawned on her. "-oh _shit._" She could feel someone behind her, so close that she felt their breath on her skin.

"You do remember what my abilities are, yes?" Sakuya remained as businesslike as ever, not smugly gloating over her upper hand, and pressed the button on the Luna Dial as Marisa barely began to shoot upwards. In an instant, the entire world went monochrome, everything not merely unmoving, but utterly _unchanging_, in stasis. Sakuya took the time slowly float around Marisa, taking in her shocked expression, her mouth wide-open in panic, before returning behind her. "It's always the best when you catch them in panic or fear...oh my, am I talking to myself again?" She rose high above Marisa and undid the timestop.

Marisa, of course, continued to shoot upwards, unaware of the timestop. _Huh, she didn't knife me in the back?_, she thought. Then she looked upwards, and saw Sakuya.

Sakuya twirled in midair and axe-kicked Marisa in the head with thundering force. "You fell for it, huh? Not so smart, are you?" Marisa blasted straight down through the air, reeling from the hit. She slammed into the ground with a loud "CRACK!" as the floor split apart. Her entire head was spinning so hard she could barely get up, her vision running. "I saw that you tried to dodge a possible backstab, so I thought I'd play along and intercept."

"Fuckin' maid..." Marisa slammed her head into the floor, which _somehow_ made her vision clear, and spun around, firing a small green laser from her finger. Sakuya didn't even have to dodge it as it missed its mark entirely and rebounded from the ceiling straight back at its owner. Marisa rolled to avoid it. "Why do you get to use a power like that at all? That's just cheating!"

"Life isn't fair, magician girl." Sakuya swung her hands, a new set of ten knives appearing from nowhere. "Someone with the power to defeat both of my mistresses shouldn't complain." Flicking her hands, the blades bolted for Marisa so fast she couldn't eve discern their pattern, dodging them on pure instinct. Luckily she managed to dodge all but two of them, getting pierced in the leg and arm.

"Tch..." Marisa bit her lip, wincing a little. "This sure brings back old memories, doesn't it..."

/

All the fairies had stopped working.

Not because they were finished or because they were lazy, but because Meiling had gotten so tired of their uselessness that she just beat them all up with martial arts till they were unconscious.

Of course, she had immediately gone back to sleep, surrounded by the lifeless bodies of the fairy maids. After all, the cleaning situation was clearly hopeless. But when Marisa fired her spark, the entire mansion had shuddered enough to jolt her awake. "Huh? Wait..." Meiling closed her eyes and clasped her palms together. Soon she was able to sense a huge amount of magic near the front of the mansion. "...Someone's using danmaku?" She then began running down the various hallways, constantly turning down every junction to reach the front. The hallways were long, but her speed was so immense that she could cover even the longest ones in seconds. Though they were arranged in a labyrinthine order, she made her way by checking how close she was to the danmaku source. _Why does this place have to be so big? Sakuya, you're ridiculous._

She knew she had reached the front when she saw a massive blast of danmaku bullets, lasers, and knives, fly through an intersecting hallway in front of her. "That's it." Diving into this hallway with a flashy roll, she skidded to the middle of it with her arms crossed like a martial artist. "Who's there-" A blast of knives came her way, and she side-stepped them in the nick of time, barely grazing them. "Oh man, Sakuya, you don't have to punish me already—huh?" She looked ahead and saw Marisa and Sakuya locked in a stalemate of throwing obscene amounts of flashy danmaku at each other, dodging the waves and patterns at such speed they appeared more like blurs. "Is that the magician girl? What're you doing here?"

Marisa turned towards Meiling, flying left and twirling in the air to avoid another cascade of knives. "Huh, you're the real gatekeeper...is that a maid outfit? What the hell is going on here?"

"I don't know, but I don't like you intruding in this house and—AH!" Meiling had to dodge _another _flurry of knives, jumping along the wall of the house and running across it like a martial artist film hero.

"Meiling!" Sakuya called out to her. "Take your job back, it's terrible."

"Yeah, well how about you take _your_ job back, huh?" Meiling yelled in response. "These maids are useless! I have to do _everything_, and there's no way I can possibly clean this whole damn house!"

Marisa stopped and looked back and forth between the two of them, utterly flabbergasted. "What in the name of all holy hell is going on right now?"

Sakuya ignored her and flew down to Meiling, brandishing her knives. "Meiling, I want my job back. I think the mistress has made her point."

Marisa bit her lip and aimed the Hakkero at the two of them. "Oy, we were fightin', remember? You can have your little chat later!" She fired a smaller spark.

Sakuya dodged it and merely glanced back at her, her eyes narrowed in annoyance. "_You_ are a pest, but I have more pressing matters."

"I wont settle for being a 'pest'! I better be at least a 'nuisance' or 'pain in the ass'!"

"My my, it appears we have an infestation." Sakuya summoned more knives with a blurry flick of her wrist. "If only I could squash it and be done with this nonsense." Not even turning to face Marisa fully, she flung them at Marisa.

"My, my, it seems like today has been quite the eventful day."

Remilia's disembodied voice sounded through the room before a impossibly dense cluster of bats as black as night swooped in, their wings beating almost silently. They condensed and flew at the ground where they transformed into the vampire herself. "I think you two can go back to your original jobs now. As for you-" She turned to Marisa, her hands behind her back. "What's your reason for being here?"

Marisa lowered herself onto the ground. "My house burned down thanks to a certain kappa. So I'm crashing here at Patchy's library. That's a declaration, not a request."

"Hm...really?" Remilia closed her eyes and pondered her words. "And what if I say no?"

Marisa smirked confidently once more. "Then I'll beat your ass like I did several years ago. Surely you remember?"

"Well, that was a rhetorical question anyway. Patchouli is the sole arbiter on who gets to use her library. Go to her."

"...Huh. See ya', vamp'." Marisa started walking down the hall, glaring at Sakuya as she walked by. "I hope the room service isn't like what happened today, or I'd rather be homeless."

"Like I would offer you service, even in the—extraordinarily rare for the matter—circumstance where Patchouli offers you lodge here." Sakuya spat back at her.

"Whatever, maid."

After she turned down a hallway, the other three stood silent for a few seconds. Remilia then glared at the other two girls and dug her hands into her hip. "Well, what are you doing? Get back to work!" She barked, her small white fangs showing.

"Oh yes, Mistress..." Sakuya returned to her job right away, running down the hallway to prepare for another day of cleaning.

Meiling watched her and turned back to Remilia, blushing when she remembered that she was wearing a maid outfit. "I...I need to go change back to my Chinese clothes-I left them where Sakuya keeps her outfits, see-then I'll go guard the gate again."

Right as she started for the closet in question, however, Sakuya's voice rang throughout the entire mansion. "MEILING, WHAT IN GOD'S NAME HAVE THE FAIRIES DONE TO THIS PLACE?!"

"Oh man..." Meiling felt cold sweat leaking from her forehead. "I gotta get out of here, Sakuya normally isn't _this_ mad!" With that, she ran with all her might out of the area.

Remilia couldn't help but chuckle a little. "It's never a day in Gensokyo without _something_ interesting happening."

/

Wow, look at that upgrade. More than _twice_ as long as the first chapter, and spellcard duels (though this one was rather short as I didn't want to get too long)! Personally, I feel that spellcard duels can fit right into the wackiness that normally happens in this fic.

My favorite part about this was easily the second half the third short. I felt like I really nailed "Touhou dialogue" with Sakuya and Marisa's banter.

Also, get used to some shorts being dramatically longer than others in the same episode. I tried to not make the third one _too_ long, but sometimes I just wont be able to.

Please inform me of any mistakes, I proofread this but I can't catch everything.


End file.
